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Jokes

Started by Nuuka, Thu 11.01.2007 11:05:29 (UTC+0200)

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=Juku=


Me first (rules of traffic)

=Lutris=

Ennemmin huonoa huumoria kuin ei huumoria ollenkaan
Huonoa makua ja riman alituksia jo vuodesta 1964 lähtien
Paskan myivät
Paskaa huumoria jo vuodesta 1964

=Juku=


Me first (rules of traffic)

=Juku=


Me first (rules of traffic)

=Juku=


Me first (rules of traffic)


=Juku=


Me first (rules of traffic)


=Juku=

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms.
Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in its mouth.
Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in its mouth, I grabbed it right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. Its eyes rolled back, and it went limp.
I released the snake into the lake without incident and carried on fishing, using the frog.
Not long after, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that dang snake... with two more frogs.

Me first (rules of traffic)

=Lutris=

A panda walked into a bar and went up to the barman and said: "I want a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please." The barman took his order and the Panda went to sit down at a table. Soon, a waiter took over the meal, the Panda gobbled it up, thanked, tipped the waiter and paid his bill.

All seemed normal until the Panda pulled out a gun from the depths of his fur, pulled the trigger and BANG! shot the waiter dead.

The barman rushed over and said: "Argh!! You just shot my friend!!!" The Panda calmly replied: "Do you know what I am?" "Of Course I do," the barman answered, "you're a Panda!" "Good," the Panda replied, "now go home and look me up in the dictionary." And with that, the Panda walked out of the bar.

The barman was a little unsure, but he was very eager to be enlightened on the subject of his friend's murder, so he went home to find his dictionary and after a while he found 'panda' and quickly read the definition...

PANDA: 1. A black and white bear native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.

::osmoke
Ennemmin huonoa huumoria kuin ei huumoria ollenkaan
Huonoa makua ja riman alituksia jo vuodesta 1964 lähtien
Paskan myivät
Paskaa huumoria jo vuodesta 1964

Donkey

If a cat and a sheep would be cross-breeded, should the result be called a shat or a shitten?
Somelainen sataprosenttinen vika :psp:

I'll never leave you lonely,
I'll be there tryin' to grab and hold, yeah,
I'm not the nicest guy you know
- Lordi - Not the nicest guy -

Setä ei vittuile, setä neuvoo :psp:

Hakuna matata, motherfucker! :pokeri:
With all due respect, intercourse yourself.

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