Redneck Pickup Lines

[nyyyps]

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.

Man - 'Fat Penguin!'
Woman - 'WHAT?'
Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.'

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went in this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til after noon.

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

[Lexa]

[unikeko]

mahtavia 

[NaiNeN]

Mahtavia 

[Betonishamaani]

   Best Pickup Lines

*
      Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
    *
      Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
    *
      The more you drink the better I look.
    *
      So what will you be making me for breakfast?
    *
      Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
    *
      You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong
    *
      I wonder what our children will look like.
    *
      I've got a condom with your name on it.
    *
      If you won't f**k me, can I f**k you?
    *
      I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.
    *
      Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
    *
      See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine.
    *
      Hi, my name is (name). I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
    *
      Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.
    *
      I have the strangest feeling that you have a very beautiful vagina.
    *
      I hate to be Blunt, but You're Beautiful.
    *
      You look tired, you should sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up.
    *
      How much does a polar bear weigh?... enough to break the ice.
    *
      Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet.
    *
      That dress looks very becoming on you. And if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
    *
      If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
    *
      Your eyes look like two turds floating in a bowl of milk.
    *
      Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?
    *
      The more you drink the more I look better.
    *
      You must have those flies all over because you're the sh*t!
    *
      Are you alright? You look like you fell right out of the sky.
    *
      I put the STD in STUD now all I need is U.
    *
      If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    *
      Would you help me look for my lost dog? I think he ran into that cheap motel across the street.
    *
      Girl you must have fallen from heaven. I guess thats how you messed up your face.
    *
      I'm Cool Your Hot Lets Make Warm
    *
      Its only three inches, but most girls like it that thick.
    *
      Another one that we used to do at the restaurant I worked at in high school was when the good lookin girls asked for a refill, since health code barred you from removing their lid, we'd point at the cup, which was invariably about chest level and ask "could you take your top of for me?"
    *
      Did you just go for a swim or are you naturally wet?
    *
      Are you drunk or is that just a lazy eye?
    *
      My tool needs a shed.
    *
      Fuck me if im wrong, Is Your Name Lucy?
    *
      Lets not turn this rape into a murder.
    *
      The only thing that would make you look better, would be a kid hanging on you that looks just like me.
    *
      I am the Keymaster, You are the Gate Keeper.
    *
      How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or fertilized?
    *
      Baby Im so romantic I would kiss you on the lips then work my way up to your bellybutton.
    *
      Legs is the word of the day...lets go home and spread the word.
    *
      You don't sweat much for a fat girl!
    *
      The best feature my phone is missing is your phone number.
    *
      I'm so drunk, you *have to* take advantage of me.
    *
      Hey babe you must be a parking violation b/c you got fine written all over you.
    *
      Let me be your derivative so I may lie tangent to your curves