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Universal truths

Started by Kastori, Sun 09.12.2007 00:37:37 (UTC+0200)

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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the
first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.


# The original game of "Monopoly" was circular.

# It costs more to buy a new car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to and from the New World.

# One-fourth of the world's population lives on less than $200 a year.

# Ninety million people survive on less than $75 a year.

# The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

# The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

# TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

# Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words.

# A snail can sleep for 3 years.

# Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

# The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

# More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

# Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

# The continents names all end with the same letter with which they start.

# Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

# According to tests made at the Institute for the Study of Animal Problems in Washington, D.C., dogs and cats, like people, are either right-handed or left-handed --- that is, they favor either their right or left paws.

# A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel can.

# Blue whales weigh as much as 30 elephants and are as long as 3 Greyhound buses.

# Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him or her every time.

# Birds do not sleep in their nests. They may occasionally nap in them, but they actually sleep in other places.

# Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of the blue whale.

# Butterflies taste with their hind feet.

# Only female mosquitoes bite.

# Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.

# If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

# Every night, wasps bite into the stem of a plant, lock their mandibles (jaws) into position, stretch out at right angles to the stem, and, with legs dangling, fall asleep.

# Ants stretch when they wake up. They also appear to yawn in a very human manner before taking up the tasks of the day.

# Bees have 5 eyes. There are 3 small eyes on the top of a bee's head and 2 larger ones in front.

# The outdoor temperature can be estimated to within several degrees by timing the chirps of a cricket. It is done this way: count the number of chirps in a 15-second period, and add 37 to the total. The result will be very close to the actual Fahrenheit temperature. This formula, however, only works in warm weather. (Try it!)

# In the United States, a pound of potato chips cost two hundred times more than a pound of potatoes.

# Caesar salad has nothing to do with any of the Caesar. It was first concocted in a bar in Tijuana, Mexico, in the 1920's.

# A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.

# Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

# You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

# The two longest one-syllable words in the English language is "screeched. & strengths."

# Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.

# Barbie's full first name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

# All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

# A coat hanger is 44 inches long if straightened

# "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

# The word 'byte' is a contraction of 'by eight.'

# The word 'pixel' is a contraction of either 'picture cell' or 'picture element'.

# Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

# Cat's urine glows under a black light.

# The average ear of corn has eight hundred kernels arranged in sixteen rows.

# The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.

# Chrysler built B-29's engines that bombed Japan, Mitsubishi built Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant call Diamond Star.

# On the new hundred-dollar bill the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.

# The vignette on the reverse of the five-dollar note depicts a likeness of the front of the Lincoln Memorial as it appeared in 1922 when it was first dedicated. At that time, there were only 48 states that made up the United States of America. The names of 26 states were engraved on the front of the Memorial. This is why only the names of 26 states appear in the vignette on the reverse of the five-dollar note. In the upper frieze of the façade in the vignette the states are from left to right: Arkansas, Michigan, Florida, Texas, Iowa, Wisconsin, California, Minnesota, Oregon, Kansas, West Virginia, Nevada, Nebraska, Colorado, and North Dakota. In the lower frieze from left to right the names of the states are: Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maryland, Carolina, Hampshire, Virginia and New York.

# All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

# Almonds are members of the peach family.

# If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050

# The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

# The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 Oz.

# The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

# Duddley DoRight's Horses name was "Horse."

# Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain was born on a day in 1835 when Haley's Comet came into view. When He died in 1910, Haley's Comet came into view again.

# Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox, Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.

# The first hard drive available for the Apple ][ had a capacity of 5megabytes.

# In many cases, the amount of storage space on a record-able CD is measured in minutes. 74 minutes is about 650 megabytes, 63 minutes is 550 megabytes.

# Charlie Brown's father was a barber.

# Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

# Of the six men who made up the Three Stooges, three of them were real brothers (Moe, Curly and Shemp.)

# Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is number 47. Until August 7, 1953, congress forgot to vote on a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.

# If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

# Only 1/3 of the people that can twitch their ears can twitch only one at a time.

# The volume of the Earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.

# Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

# The largest city in the United States with a one syllable name is Flint, Michigan.

# On the cartoon show 'The Jetsons', Jane is 33 years old and her daughter Judy is 15.

# In Mel Brooks' 'Silent Movie,' mime Marcel Marceau is the only person who has a speaking role.

# Only humans and horses have hymens.

# The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

# The state with the longest coastline in the US is Alaska.

# We will have four consecutive full moons making two blue moons in 1999 (January 2 and 31, March 2 and 31.) The only other time it happened this century was in 1915 (January 1 and 31, March 1 and 31.)

# Pulp Fiction cost $8 million to make - $5 million going to actor's salaries.

# Spot, Data's cat on Star Trek: The Next Generation, was played by six different cats.

# The longest U.S. highway is route 6 starting in Cape Cod, Massachusetts going through 14 states, and ending in Bishop, California...

# The number of the trash compactor in Star Wars (20th Century Fox, 1977) is 3263827.

# "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."

# A full seven percent of the entire Irish barley crop goes to the production of Guinness beer.

# If you toss a penny 10000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.

# The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.

# Mr. Snuffleupagas' first name was Alyoisus.

# In the movie "the Right Stuff" there is a scene where a government recruiter for the Mercury astronaut program (played by Jeff Goldblum) is in a bar at Muroc Dry Lake, California. His partner suggests Chuck Yeager as a good astronaut candidate. Jeff proceeds to bad mouth Yeager claiming they need someone who went to college. During the conversation the real Chuck Yeager is playing a bartender who is standing behind the recruiters eavesdropping. General Yeager is listed low in the movie credits as 'Fred.'

# Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

# There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

# The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopics- ilicovolcanoconiosis. The only other word with the same amount of letters ispneumonoultra-microscopicsilicovol- canoconioses, its plural.

# The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatan- gihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokai- whenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.

# Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

# A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

# An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

# Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

# After the Civil War the U.S. sued Great Britain for damages that were caused by them building ships for the Confederacy. We originally asked for $1 billion but settled on $25 Million.

# There are 22 stars surrounding the mountain on the Paramount Pictures logo.

# Deborah Winger did the voice of E.T.

# There is a word in the English language with only one vowel, which occurs six times: Indivisibility.

# In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

# The only Dutch word to contain eight consecutive consonants is 'angstschreeuw'.

# Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

# The Mongol emperor Genghis Khan's original name was Temujin.

# The first word spoken by an ape in the movie Planet of the Apes was "Smile".

# Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order.

# Geller and Huchra have made three-dimensional maps of the distribution of galaxies. In each layer of the map some galaxies are grouped together in such a way that they resemble a human being.

# Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays.

# Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

# The second longest word in the English language is "antidisestablishmentarianism".

# When two words are combined to form a single word (e.g., motor + hotel = motel, breakfast + lunch = brunch) the new word is called a "portmanteau."

# Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth ... and whose shame created the expression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd."

# The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

# In 1969, the last Corvair was painted gold.

# The real name of the "I've fallen and I can't get up" lady is Edith Fore.

# Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth.

# Betsy Ross's other contribution to the American Revolution, beside sewing the first American flag, was running a munitions factory in her basement.

# The only real people to be a Pez head are
Betsy Ross, Paul Revere and Daniel Boone.

# Steely Dan got their name from a sexual device depicted in the book 'The Naked Lunch'.

# Bob Dylan's real name is Robert Zimmerman.

# Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.

# Lenny Kravitz's mother played the part of "Helen" on "The Jeffersons."

# Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

# A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

# 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

# The Ramses brand condom is named after the great phaoroh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

# There is a seven letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the, there, he, in, rein, her, here, here, ere, therein, herein.

# When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.

# John Larroquette of "Night Court" and "The John Larroquette Show" was the narrator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

# A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

# A pig's penis is shaped like a corkscrew.

# A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

# A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

# A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.

# A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

# On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

# It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

# "Evian" spelled backwards is naive.

# The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

# Maine is the toothpick capital of the world.

# It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.

# The A&W of root beer fame stands for Allen and Wright.

# A baby eel is called an elver, a baby oyster is called a spat.

# Bingo is the name of the dog on the Cracker Jack box.

# Lake Nicaragua boasts the only fresh-water sharks in the entire world.

# Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts."

# There are four cars and ten lightposts on the back of a ten-dollar bill.

# ABBA got their name by taking the first letter from each of their first names (Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny, Anni- frid.)

# What five digit number, when multiplied by the number 4, is the same number with the digits in reverse order?
21978; 21978 x 4 = 87912.

# It was illegal to sell ET dolls in France because there is a law against selling dolls without human faces.

# In the 1983 film "JAWS 3D" the shark blows up. Some of the shark guts were the stuffed ET dolls being sold at the time.

# Montana mountain goats will butt heads so hard their hooves fall off.

# The Beatles song "Dear Prudence" was written about Mia Farrow's sister, Prudence, when she wouldn't come out and play with Mia and the Beatles at a religious retreat in India.

# Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

# The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

# St. Paul, Minnesota was originally called Pigs Eye after a man who ran a saloon there.

# The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

# Moon was Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name. (Buzz Aldrin was the second man on the moon in 1969.)

# Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? It's Paul Reiser himself.. And Greg Evigan sang the "My Two Dads" theme. Kelsey Grammar sings and plays the piano for the theme song of Fraiser.Alan Thicke, the father in the TV show Growing Pains wrote the theme songs for The Facts of Life and Diff'rent Strokes .

# In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969, a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon, Gaylord Perry hit his first, and only, home run.

# The Grateful Dead were once called The Warlocks.

# Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was Willy.

# The Skipper's real name on Gilligan's Island is Jonas Grumby. It was mentioned once in the first episode on their radios newscast about the wreck.


Men & Women 2

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love  him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.


Me first (rules of traffic)


Me first (rules of traffic)


Me first (rules of traffic)

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