101 Reasons to Masturbate

[Hanzuu]

# It feels good.
# Everybody else is doing it.
# You will become more comfortable with your body.
# You will get a better idea of what pleases you, something you can share with a lover.
# You won't be as irritable at work.
# Morticia Addams. Rawr!
# You can develop control and staying power in a low-stress situation.
# You can discover the many parts of you that are sensitive and excitable without actually being genitals.
# You're trying to quit smoking and you gotta do something with your hands.
# Congressional filibusters are so damn boring.
# You feel the need to tap off excess fluid on occasion to keep your body running at optimal efficiency.
# You're going for the world land-speed masturbation record and the cameras are waiting.
# You want to have sex with a relative but you fear social ostracism and genetic horrors.
# Look at this body! Who wouldn't want to touch it?
# It's safe sex, as long as you watch your aim.
# Christina Ricci's on Ally McBeal.
# Can't sleep.
# Nothing good on tv.
# Spider-Man was sold out.
# Just wanted to make sure everything still worked, you know?
# Next conjugal visit still a week away.
# Because everytime I do, an angel spasms.
# Exercises the wrist and reduces the chance for carpal tunnel syndrome. It must, because I type a lot and I've never gotten it.
# Long wait at the doctor's office, and all the magazines are out of date.
# Would you ask Pavarotti not to sing? Baryshnikov not to dance?
# Really, really difficult to get pregnant when you're the only one there.
# Not too easy to get pregnant even if you're in company, if you're careful.
# You can stay a virgin for years without getting twitchy.
# It helps to maintain good pelvic blood flow and strong PC muscles.
# Big money-saver on dinner and alcohol.
# It reduces menstrual cramps.
# Men who stimulate their prostate glands during masturbation reduce their incidence of prostate infections.
# It stimulates your creativity and enriches your fantasy life.
# You're asserting your independence!
# You don't have to depend on a man for your orgasms (unless you're a guy, of course).
# You can get it anytime you want, man.
# You can do anything you want without having to explain it to a bewildered partner.
# You're helping to establish the philosophy that sex is good in, by, and for itself; and that there is nothing whatever wrong about experiencing it as a fine thing in its own right.
# Show me a guy with three speeds that knows exactly where and when to go.
# You rarely have to use roofies to get sex.
# It's cheaper than Zoloft.
# Masturbation results in remarkably few abortions.
# The love of your life is currently unavailable
# The love of your life is currently available, but isn't interested right now.
# The love of your life is currently available, but likes watching me.
# It releases endorphins into the bloodstreams, and that's good, I think.
# Eases the strain and anxiety of long traffic jams.
# Reduces the need to ask for sex during times when it might be inconvenient or unwanted, like when she's in labor.
# It keeps you from hitting all the people who really need hitting.
# Because you always call the next day.
# No scrambling for birth control.
# Better than nagging her for sex, and she might join in.
# Easier to get into a meditative state than chanting, I'll tell you that.
# You'll be able to grip your golf club with more confidence.
# You can join the Mile High Club without trying to cram two people in that little bathroom.
# My parents encouraged it to ensure that I grew up with a healthy perspective towards my own sexuality, even to the point of charting my progress and having me do it in front of family gatherings.
# In 1972 the American Medical Association declared masturbation a normal sexual activity, and I'm celebrating.
# It really bugs a lot of the Religious Right, and so I'm striking a blow for freedom. As it were.
# You can take all the time you need.
# Futurama was canceled.
# I'm doing my part as an American to keep the sex toy economy thriving.
# When out in the woods, alone and in tune with nature, it's a magical thing to spooge all over the environment and truly become one.
# Because the son of a bitch popped and went to sleep on you.
# Because you really, really like escalators.
# Gotta do something until bail arrives and you don't have a harmonica.
# Your next-door neighbor has been watching you through the window, and you think it's time to take the relationship to the next level.
# Keeping one hand under the table at all times is a valuable defensive pose, probably.
# Helps improve your backhand.
# Because you can't reach with my mouth.
# You paid for your dinner and the movie, so you're probably required to.
# Just won Best Actress.
# You're watching an adult movie, and there is an implied contract between you and the movie's distributors.
# To glorify God and His creations.
# Don't have to count days first.
# Performance art.
# Because it makes your web site membership spike every time you do it.
# Flipping burgers only takes one hand, so...
# Because no one else is good enough for you. YouI barely qualify.
# The cast came off today.
# It's non-carcinogenic, non-fattening, and low in sodium.
# Did you know you can take Barbie's clothes right off?
# Because you are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and you suspect that happiness just ducked into your pants.
# Couldn't think of anything else to use in your valedictorian speech.
# SxyGrrl69@hotmail.com told you to.
# Doesn't require equipment (although there's quite a large industry ready to supply you if you want some).
# Downtime between spacewalks.
# Did too many Hail Marys, have to even it out.
# Tom Welling took off his shirt on Smallville last night.
# Because this isn't just a casual fling - you really love yourself.
# It was integral to the plot.
# You've got a lot of love to give.
# Is it just me, or are mannequins getting hotter every year?
# Needed new material for your "Best Of" DVD.
# Helps keep me warm on cold nights.
# It's what the "pause" button was invented for.
# Just got the Swamp Thing DVD with extended Adrienne Barbeau swamp bath scene.
# It would be rude not to show your appreciation for the strippers, it's like belching to compliment the chef.
# Because if there's one thing porn has taught us, it's that women inexplicably go nuts when a potbellied guy jerks off on them.
# You've heard that if you don't use parts of your body they atrophy and drop off, and that's scary.
# It's part of your low-impact aerobic full-body workout. 10 reps, pause, repeat as needed.
# Bought one too many cucumbers for dinner, and wasting is a sin.
# Because (drum roll) it's there.

[Lexa]

Tuolla on muutama varsinainen helmi joukossa!

[PajakkiVasseli.com]

true

[Odai]

# To glorify God and His creations.

[Odai]

[Pring]

Woo!

[Grunchlk]

Hell, I only need one reason. 

[Lexa]

Actually, thats 102..

[Josse]

Morticia Addams ?

http://images.google.fi/images?q=Morticia%20Addams&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:fi:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=fi&tab=wi

[peter]

Number 1 masturbator 

http://www.google.fi/search?q=101+Reasons+to+Masturbate