New imformation about Finland for gay people

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Poissa Sir Sika

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New imformation about Finland for gay people
« : Pe 20.01.2006 14:48:50 »
Finland is a great, small, warm country in the Caribbean Sea. The name "Fin-Land" was given by western explorers, who lost many sailors to sharks near the island during the Crusades. The folk of the isle of Finland are very warm-hearted, open-minded, talkative, and love their northern neighbours in the autonomous Grand Duchy of Sweden and the Swedish language which is the most appreciated subject in Finnish schools. Yeah right.

The national vegetable is makkara (sort of a sausage-like product without any real meat) and the national drink is kossu (pure alcohol). Finnish food is internationally ranked to be best in the world by leaders of many countries. Finnish motto is "If kossu, terva or sauna won't cure it, it'll kill you".

Sauna (wooden room, where you sweat in the affects of hot rocks or an electrical device) is the most important thing in the world to every self-respecting Finn. There's no life without sauna, makkara, mökki, computer and kossu (within the computer). There would be no Finnish backround otherwise. The combination of sauna and kossu in computer, or atleast near the computer (and preferably mökki, too) is a prerequisite for Finnish reproduction, human or otherwise.

Finns are called "Fauna of Sauna" by Lithuanians.

Not much is known about this mysterious nation, but it is the educated opinion that they are mostly 1.5 meters in height, with blond hair and very little brains. Thus 90% of Finland's population have made a career as cs playahs (CS being the most played computer game in the world). Finland is known to have millions of 12-year-old cs players who swear a lot and make really strange noises when they lose a match. There have luckily been a couple of good playahs who have made a name all over the six main continents. The most pathetic Finnish CS player is Manakuski the furry, who is also probably the most dedicated cosplay enthusiast in the world. Those blessed with larger brains mostly work in the porn business.

Because of the dark and depressing Finnish winter, Finns completely lose their minds when summer finally arrives and snow melts in mid-June. It's the time when polar bears migrate back to the polar circle for a week or two and people can finally leave the safety of their homes. Summer is then celebrated by drinking heavily and drowning in the nearest lake.

When summer is over after a week or two the Finns migrate south to Estonia for a whole day and return with their little trollies filled with Viru Valge or, even better, with Viru Valge Vägev]. The lucky ones come back with an itch in their scrotum. Then they lock themselves indoors and drink vodka all day. If they run out of vodka they might migrate south for another day. Winter time is tolerated by being heavily intoxicated.

Polar bears are quite a common sight. They live among the people and the penguins and at times mutilate random pedestrians just for the heck of it. In fact, polar bears are the real supreme leaders of the country. They just let those pitiful humans go on about their business because they couldn't give a damn.

Also, every single Finn is a drunk. They begin drinking in the morning, and finally stop when they pass out. Some do keep on going after passing out with the aid of some of the closest friends or the hospital staff.

Speaking about drinking - the most famous and commonly used toast in Finnish is "Nyt"; which has to be followed by the sentence "Vodka is good, but it's tooooooo expensive!!!"

All Finns listen to PsyTrance and Suomisaundi.

Myths

    * The well known communist singer Linus Torvalds is often said to be from Finland. He is actually from Japan.
    * It is often thought that polar bears and wolves can be seen in Helsinki, the capital of Finland. This has not been the case for over a hundred years since nowadays all dangerous animals are transported to Turku for waste control.
    * It is rumoured that there once was a village named Porvoo right next to Helsinki. Today no one remembers it.
    * There is a rumor that one of the original seven Finnish tribes wandered to north and built the city of Oulu. This is considered to be false information and it's only used nowadays to scare children.
    * Many people believe that Finland still exists when in fact it was destroyed by the Middle Eastern Song Contest in 2003
    * "AE" is a common Finnish letter. Contrary to popular belief, it should not be reduced to an "ä", as this causes both confusion and ridicule. Your guideline should be "Matti Nuekaenen is from Juevaeskuelae"
    * Some people think that Finns are originally from Ural but that is just another typo. Finns are known to be originally from Urinal.

    * If you ever even see the word 'Sipoo' (Sipoo is Finish and means about the same as 'warning!') turn back as fast as you can. Sipoo is actually only a big old forest, full of scary, freaky woodfolk who do whatever it takes to figure out the ultimate question, the meaning of life. They just can't believe the simple answer 42. Some of the folk in Sipoo think that life is only a black, white and red party, and then we all die.

Finnish sense of humour
"Hää-hää-hää!" Your average Finn laughing at somebody else's expense.
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"Hää-hää-hää!" Your average Finn laughing at somebody else's expense.

Finns are very well known for their complete misunderstunding of irony. As they are aware of their intellectual deficit, they may overcompensate by taking any statement as some form of sarcasm. This is not because they are sarcastic, but because they are extremely naive. This has led the nation to some very exciting situations, like when the Swedes said "Hey, we are going to rule you for a couple of centuries" and the Finns kind of replied "Don't forget to build a couple of castles too".

Finns are very easy to read when it comes to situations where you need to know whether or not they got a joke: They usually have a serious, even depressed look, but if they think you might have said something funny they have a loud laugh that lasts about ten minutes and after that they give you hugs and kisses and thank you for a million times for making them so happy. When themselves telling a "joke" they laugh so much you cannot hear what they are actually trying to say. These awkward situations are so unnatural (yet very common) for Finns that it scares both you and the Finns themselves.

Finnish sense of humour is deeply appreciated by Björk.

Oon tehnyt asioita
joilla ei oo muuta tarkoitusta
kuin olla tikareita
jotka tarkoitettiin ainoastaan
sinuun uppoomaan
Antaisin anteeksi
jollen heikolta näyttäisi -Apulanta - Viisaus ei asu meissä-

"Idiootteja on helpompi sietää, jos heitä ei ajattele typerinä ihmisinä vaan poikkeuksellisen lahjakkaina apinoina."
- Nuorempi komisario Kyösti Pöysti

Portsarit luulevat olevansa jotain JOTAIN, eivätkä ole mitään erityisempää. Pieni valta saa miehen näyttämään mukamas suuremmalta ja vaikuttavammalta, loppujenlopuksi itsetunto on alhaalla ja mitätön kaiken tehdyn egon alla.

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Poissa tundra

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Re: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #1 : La 21.01.2006 10:36:45 »
Sinähän sen tiedät.. :lach:

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Poissa Sir Sika

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Re: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #2 : Ma 23.01.2006 08:37:18 »
 :jepso:
Oon tehnyt asioita
joilla ei oo muuta tarkoitusta
kuin olla tikareita
jotka tarkoitettiin ainoastaan
sinuun uppoomaan
Antaisin anteeksi
jollen heikolta näyttäisi -Apulanta - Viisaus ei asu meissä-

"Idiootteja on helpompi sietää, jos heitä ei ajattele typerinä ihmisinä vaan poikkeuksellisen lahjakkaina apinoina."
- Nuorempi komisario Kyösti Pöysti

Portsarit luulevat olevansa jotain JOTAIN, eivätkä ole mitään erityisempää. Pieni valta saa miehen näyttämään mukamas suuremmalta ja vaikuttavammalta, loppujenlopuksi itsetunto on alhaalla ja mitätön kaiken tehdyn egon alla.

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Poissa Lexa

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Re: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #3 : To 19.10.2006 09:41:58 »
:lach: So true! So true... :lach:
"Lexa on koko Apache foorumin nettipoliisien PÄÄLLIKKÖ!" -Arto Lauri

Bloody Mary, Full of Vodka. Blessed Are You Among Cocktails.
Pray For Me Now, At The Hour of My Death - Which I Hope Is Soon.
Amen.

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furioso

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Re: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #4 : To 19.10.2006 17:11:25 »
 :lach: :lach:

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Poissa D-ude

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Re: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #5 : To 19.10.2006 20:07:24 »
 :lach: :think:

ei kaikki voi olla heteRoita :serlokki:
"Kassoha sie. Tää asja on näi. Jos sie lähet juoksemaa, nii sie saat juossa Pohjalahel saakka. Kyl hää tulloo peräs, älä yhtää eppäile. Mut jos sie pysyt paikollais etkä lähe hitoilkaa, nii minkä hää tekköö? Et sie sovi hänen kansaa sammaa monttuu. Se on tään puolustussovan ratekia."

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Poissa peter

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Vs: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #6 : Su 22.08.2010 05:14:04 »
 :psp:

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Poissa Lexa

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Vs: New imformation about Finland for gay people
« Vastaus #7 : La 19.03.2016 11:56:02 »
:psycho:
"Lexa on koko Apache foorumin nettipoliisien PÄÄLLIKKÖ!" -Arto Lauri

Bloody Mary, Full of Vodka. Blessed Are You Among Cocktails.
Pray For Me Now, At The Hour of My Death - Which I Hope Is Soon.
Amen.

 


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