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59 Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Men

    1. A beer NEVER leaves the toilet seat up.
    2. A beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
    3. A beer won't expect you to cook dinner when you're not hungry.
    4. A beer will never expect you to sit in the wet spot IT makes.
    5. A beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
    6. A beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
    7. A beer does as many chores as a man, with a LOT less complaining.
    8. Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
    9. A beer won't tease you because you once liked Barry Manilow.
    10. If a beer had a sports car, it wouldn't love it more than you.
    11. A beer doesn't want to go out alone with the other beers.
    12. A beer doesn't sulk.
    13. A beer wouldn't waste its money on Playbeer magazine.
    14. A beer won't switch the TV channel.
    15. A beer doesn't have to sleep with the windows open.
    16. A beer doesn't snore.
    17. A beer can't interrupt.
    18. A beer doesn't care that you can't find your car's carburetor.
    19. A beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
    20. A beer doesn't belch. Or fart.
    21. A beer doesn't mind having pantyhose dry in the bathroom.
    22. A beer doesn't care that you don't balance your checkbook.
    23. A good beer is easy to find.
    24. A beer can't pout.
    25. A beer doesn't have a mother.
    26. A beer doesn't have friends who will drink your beer.
    27. A beer wouldn't yell if you dented the car.
    28. A beer won't get jealous if you enjoy another beer.
    29. A beer won't care if you gain five pounds.
    30. A beer will be there for anytime of the month.
    31. A beer doesn't want children.
    32. A beer doesn't think poetry is queer.
    33. A beer isn't ready until you're ready.
    34. If the beer is finished before you are, you can have another beer.
    35. Hangovers go away.
    36. A beer tastes good.
    37. Having a beer doesn't make you want to take a shower.
    38. A beer will never invite friends home for dinner without calling.
    39. A beer's life does not revolve around the football.
    40. A beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
    41. A beer never needs a shave.
    42. You don't have to let a beer win.
    43. A beer doesn't care what toppings you get on the pizza.
    44. Just because you have dinner with a beer doesn't mean you have to sleep with a beer too.
    45. A beer doesn't have morning breath.
    46. A beer is happy to go where ever you want to go.
    47. A beer will never drink the last beer.
    48. A beer will never take the newspaper apart before you've read it.
    49. When a beer is finished, it doesn't roll over and go to sleep.
    50. A beer wouldn't mind if you wanted it to wear a condom.
    51. A beer is never temperamental.
    52. A beer will never complain about your cooking.
    53. A cold beer is a good beer.
    54. A beer will never worry about losing its hair.
    55. A big, fat beer is nice to have.
    56. A beer won't steal the covers.
    57. You don't have to laugh at a beer's jokes.
    58. A beer won't mind at all if you're not in the mood for beer.
    59. You can enjoy a beer when you are on your period.

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