Early retirement scheme

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Poissa Baz

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Early retirement scheme
« : Ma 09.03.2009 16:09:47 »
            Dear Employees,

            Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
            Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.
            This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

            Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
            Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
            programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be
            RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems
            appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional
            Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

            Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

            Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
            (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always
            prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel
            that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention
            of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you
            can handle.


            The Management
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Poissa Lexa

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Vs: Early retirement scheme
« Vastaus #1 : Ma 09.03.2009 16:16:48 »
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Poissa Yöhaukka

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Vs: Early retirement scheme
« Vastaus #2 : Ma 22.02.2016 12:13:22 »
I'm keeping an eye on you....