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IRC Quotes (Irkissä puhuttua...)

Started by jiidee, Sat 24.06.2006 14:07:54 (UTC+0300)

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Ubermario

Quote from: Tuomari on Mon 24.03.2008 00:17:13 (UTC+0200)
#772437 +(2730)- [X]

GuyGuy: I am so fucking dead, dude.
Bilbo22: What's up?
GuyGuy: Ok, this is gonna take some explanation.
Bilbo22: Go for it.
GuyGuy: Alright. My wife goes crazy when I cum in her. She really likes the feeling of liquid shooting into her or something, cause she's absolutely nuts about it. It's like a fucking fetish.
GuyGuy: Anyway, Last week she went totally overboard with this. We were having sex, and everything was going great, but when I said I was about to cum she grabbed me by the shaft, forcefully yanked me out of her, got this fucking jar from the drawer in the nightstand, and collected my fucking semen in it.
Bilbo22: What the fuck?
GuyGuy: Yeah. Weird ass shit.
Bilbo22: No, I mean the fact you're telling me this shit. I don't want to hear this.
GuyGuy: It's important dude, hear me out.
Bilbo22: Fine, Fine.
GuyGuy: Anyway, I was asking what the fuck she was up to and she tells me she wants to save up my jism so she can take it all at once. So she sticks the jar in the fridge and tells me we can't have any more sex until I fill the thing entirely.
GuyGuy: And long story short, I just don't got that much juice in me, so after a week of trying to jack it until I could fill it, my penis felt like it was gonna burst. So I decided to cheat, and topped it off with some of this dove soap she has, cause it looks a lot like semen.
Bilbo22: Oh dear god, I know where this is going.
GuyGuy: So I give her the filled jar all indignant like cause she made me do this, and she promised me lots of kinky sex for it.
GuyGuy: Then she pulls a fucking turkey baster out of her dresser, sucks up the contents of the jar, sticks the baster in her pussy, and lets it rip.
GuyGuy: As it turns out, Soap apparently burns like a motherfucker when you put it in a woman's pussy.
Bilbo22: Oh shit man. When the fuck was this?
GuyGuy: Like, ten minutes ago.
Bilbo22: Then what the fuck are you doing on AIM!?
GuyGuy: Are you kidding? She's been in the bathroom for the past ten minutes screaming like a fucking banshee.
GuyGuy: I needed leverage. If she murders me now, I've got a witness who can testify against her.
GuyGuy: Oh shit, she's coming out now. If you don't hear from me in a few days, call the cops!
Bilbo22: I'll be sure to check under the porch for your body.

Tuon täytyy olla joku vitsi... :shock:

Rankkis

#fractal (+160) [303]
<@entil> porno antaa erittäin realistisen kuvan hellästä rakastelusta. *tömps* *tömps* *tömps* *uff* *uff* *uff* 'ruiskuta naamalleni!'

:lach:

Kevätkukkasten säteily on mitätöntä. En siedä sitä.

Jokse


jiidee

Quote from: kulli paavo on Tue 11.03.2008 11:41:50 (UTC+0200)
{Tuntematon} tiedätte vissiin kuinka kivaa on kun on kylmä huone ja menee lämpöseen peiton alle
{Tuntematon} noh. menin suihkuun ja siksi ajaksi jätin ikkunan auki ja pistin föönin peiton alle :)
{@Simbe} mm.. kivempaa on jos siellä on lämmittäjäki ;)
{Tuntematon} vittukun tuo sönky oli upouus :(:(((((
{Tuntematon} sänky
{B^r} föönin peitonalle :D:D
{Tuntematon} vittu
{Tuntematon} tuo nimittäin paloi
{Tuntematon} kokohuone täynnä savua

Kengänkuivaaja on parempi  :jepso:
Vääksyn ukkomiesyhdistys & Reilu kerho ry tarjoaa ilmaisen mammografian ( :oho: )


nyyyps

Allekirjoitukset näkyvät jokaisen viestin tai yksityisviestin alla. Voit käyttää BBCodea ja hymiöitä allekirjoituksessasi.

Jokse


nyyyps

http://ircquotes.net/?125317
Quote<franklini> nyt pitää tulla roflaan
<franklini> olin äsken sallilla päällä assembly 07 paita
<franklini> joku steroidihirmu tulee jtn selittää " Tommoset läskit nörtit mää tapan yhellä iskulla."
<franklini> "1 isku ja se on siinä" tai jotain tommosta
<franklini> olin silleen omgz nyt vittuun
<franklini> sit sanoin vaan " Mulla on kuule mustavyö Mortal Kombatissa"
<franklini> jätkä hiljenee vähäks aikaa ja sanoo "joo ei me tässä mitään tappelemaan aleta"
<franklini> ja lähti meneen
Allekirjoitukset näkyvät jokaisen viestin tai yksityisviestin alla. Voit käyttää BBCodea ja hymiöitä allekirjoituksessasi.

Jokse


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