Jokes

[Betonishamaani]

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one or not.    

[Señorita iCola]

 

[Betonishamaani]

For years, men and women have
argued over which is more
painful: being kicked in the
bollocks, or giving birth.
So how can we reach an
answer? Well, put it this way:
about a year after a couple's first
child, a woman will say, "Let's
have another baby."
But I challenge you to find a man
who, one year on, will turn to his
mate and say, "Tell you what,
Dave... Kick me in the bollocks
again."

[Betonishamaani]

Apart from Humans, the only
animal that enjoys having sex
is a Dolphin.
I had to shag a LOT of animals
to find that out.

[=Juku=]

Where do red-headed babies come from?

After their baby was born, Bob, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.
'Doctor,' Bob said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because
my son has red hair.
He can't possibly be mine!!'

'Nonsense,' the doctor said...'Even though you and your wife both have black hair,
one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'

'It isn't possible,' Bob insisted.
'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'

"Well, said the doctor, let me ask you this.

How often do you have sex???"

Bob seemed a bit ashamed....'I've been working very hard for the past year.
We only made love once or twice every few months.'

'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently....
"It's Rust."

[Jarre]

They say there is safety on numbers. Tell that to 6 million jews.

[Ressukka]

I met a girl in the park last night. There was definitely something electric between us. I shagged her silly on a park bench. When I'd finished I couldn't help thinking "Fuck me these Tazer guns are worth every penny".

[Ressukka]

An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because assholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty."

The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?" Allah replied, "Who said they are women?"

[NaiNeN]

 

[Betonishamaani]

A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here.