Jokes

[=Juku=]

First apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said: "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Adam ate the first apple, too! Men will never learn!!

[Mysti]

[Susey]

 

[Betonishamaani]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

My severely diabetic wife.

[Kiljutron]

What do you call a cow with no legs?

My severely diabetic wife.

[Betonishamaani]

My wife asked me to tie her up and surprise her.

"But, remember, I'm not into anal," she warned.

I tied her up ...

"Surprise!" I shouted. "I AM into anal!"

[=Juku=]

ass you wish!

[=Juku=]

[nyyyps]

[Betonishamaani]

Apparently kicking a pregnant woman's stomach is only cute if it's from the inside.