Jos naurat - olet auttamatta nörtti.

[Lexa]

1.-- I am thy DOS, thou shall have no DOS before me, unless Bill Gates gets a cut of the profits there-from.

2.-- Thy DOS is a character based, single user, single tasking, stand alone operating system. Thou shall not attempt to make DOS network, multi-task, or display a graphical user interface, for that would be a gross HACK.

3.-- Thy hard disk shall never have more than 1024 sectors. You don't need that much space anyway.

4.-- Thy application program and data shall all fit in 640K of RAM. After all, it's TEN TIMES what you had on a CP/M machine. Keep holy this 640K of RAM, and clutter it not with device drivers, memory managers, or other things that might make thy computer USEFUL.

5.-- Thou shall use the ONE TRUE SLASH CHARACTER to separate thy directory path. Thou shall learn and love this character, even though it appears on no typewriter keyboard, and is UNFAMILIAR. Standardization on where that character is located on a computer keyboard is RIGHT OUT.

6.-- Thou shall edit and shuffle the sacred lines of CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT until DOS functions adequately for the likes of you. Giving up in disgust is not allowed.

7.-- Know in thy heart that DOS shall always maintain backward compatibility to the holy 2.0 version, blindly ignoring opportunities to become compatible with THINGS created in the latter half of this century. But you can still run WordStar 1.0.

8.-- Improve thy memory, for thou shall be required to remember that JD031792.LTR is the letter that you wrote to Jane Doe three years ago regarding the tax deductible contribution that you made to her organization. The IRS Auditor shall be IMPRESSED by thy memory as he stands over you demanding PROOF.

9.-- Pick carefully the names of thy directories, for renaming them shall be MIGHTY DIFFICULT. While you're at it, don't try to relocate branches of the directory tree, either.

10.- Learn well the Vulcan Nerve Pinch (ctrl-alt-del) for it shall be thy SAVIOUR on many an occasion. Believe in thy heart that EVERYONE re-boots their DOS to solve problems that shouldn't occur in the first place.

[nyyyps]

Oih. Grep ja pkzip.

Nyt tuli nostalginen hiilis. Pakko lähtiä haikailemaan menetettyjen vuosien perään tupakin kera.
Pakko hiljentyä hetkeksi. Oloni on harras.

[Lexa]

ARJ, LHA, PKZIP JA PKUNZIP... Käytän muuten noista kahta vielä nykyäänkin komentoriviltä.

[nyyyps]

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.
Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.
DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.
Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

E: Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly

[nyyyps]

A plain computer illiterate guy ringstech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech:(keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change thestartup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant
that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.
Tech support:: How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support::(hush hush)
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

[Lexa]

  Kekseliäs tukihenkilö MS:llä.

Why is E-Mail like the Penis?

-Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off.

-Those who have it somehow believe those who don't are inferior.

-Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat but doubt it's worth all the fuss that those who have it make about it.

-Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call E-Male Envy.

-It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any work done.

-In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

-If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.

-We attach an importance to it far greater than its size and influence warrant.

-If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

[Lexa]

My friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied: "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"

[nyyyps]

Ahhaha :----D

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

[kenny]

 



:shocked:

[jp77]

Acer 915V, Supramodem 2400 ja BBS'n ylläpito.