Jokes

[NaiNeN]

Three guys and a lady were sitting at a table talking about their professions. - The first guy says "Im a YUP - you know young, urban and professional " - Second says "Im a DINK, double income, no kids"...and Third says "hey...Im RUB - rich,urban, biker!!"
Then they turn to the Woman and ask her "what are you?"...and she replies.. Im WIFE, you know ...wash, iron, fuck etc.

[Ressukka]

I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut you'd look alright". I said "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there".
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[Ressukka]

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat bird dancing on a table. I said to her "Nice legs". The girl giggled and said with a smile "Do you really think so". I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now".

[Betonishamaani]

I watched my girlfriend give birth the other day, it was the happiest day of my life.
After seeing that, I know she's capable of taking at least one fist.

[NaiNeN]

 

[Jarre]

 

[Betonishamaani]

The wife crawled into bed last night. I stroked her hair, then worked my way down her body until I was gently rubbing her pussy. We then had passionate sex for 10 minutes.

Then, just as I climaxed, I had a realisation.

I live alone with the dog.

[NaiNeN]

 

[Jarre]

 

[Betonishamaani]

Opinions are like orgasms.
Mine's more important and I don't give a fuck if she has one.