Jokes

[=Juku=]

[Betonishamaani]

Doctor: "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS." Husband: "How can we find out which?" Doctor: "I need you to run a little experiment this weekend. Take your wife to a park and leave her there. If she finds her way home; don't fuck her."

[=Juku=]

Too cruel!

[Betonishamaani]

A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

"I'm going down to give blood."

"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

"About $20."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.

The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.

[Ressukka]

I have created THE perfect chat-up line.

All I ask, when I see a girl on her own is "I have a knife in one hand and my cock in the other, one of these is going in you... your choice?"

[Donkey]

What do you call an anorexic woman with yeast infection? Quarterpounder with cheese.

[nyyyps]

Joo, se oli hyvä kuva.

[=Juku=]

 A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen  mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and  gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only  here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my  testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate  from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.  She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles  gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,  Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says  very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen  very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

[Donkey]

 

[Betonishamaani]

RAPE. Small word, long sentence